Friday, November 26, 2010

Pulling punches

4AM - Pulling punches!
If you have been following my blog for awhile, you may know that I pull no punches when I write my blog.  What is, is!  And I tell it as it happened.  The good, the bad, the terrible!  I also write about what is going on in my mind.  No punches pulled there either!

As a result of publishing yesterday's "Thanksgiving party" post, this morning I was reading my son Dave's blog which he called:
DAVE'S HOME
A DIARY OF THE DAILY GOINGS ON AT A CALIFORNIA FOSTER HOME FOR CHILDREN

Recently I had decided that it was better for me to think about Dave by going into memories of what we shared together. What I was doing before that decision, was to be grieving, often angry.  So, I found myself looking at a date in Dave's blog, and then looking at the same date in my own blog.  Doing this, I felt that I was somehow connecting myself with what Dave did on that date.  Even though I was not actually present with him.

Dave was so very happy in November, 2009.  I could not help myself but make the comparison to the tragic two days of the police search of Dave's home on September 19th, 2010 and the next day on September 20th, when Dave committed suicide.  Why was Dave so different on those two days, than he was in November, 2009?

Why didn't Dave phone his friends for help during those two days? Why?

That was when it came to me.  Dave could not phone his friends for help during the nite when he camped at Mount Diablo's State Park on September 19th.  He could not phone his friends for help during the three hours he drove to Calaveras Big Trees State Park where he would kill himself.

Because Dave did not have his cell phone anymore!

I am carrying with me on this trip a folder where I keep important papers.  I hurriedly scrambled thru this folder looking for the receipt for items taken by police when the warrant was served on September 19th.  I found the receipt!  I read down the list of items taken.  There it was!  At the very bottom of the first page.

(1) Verizon LG cell phone

Dave, a person who lived his life for computers.  For electronic things.  During his last desperate hours, Dave had no cell phone.  No computer.  No way to send an email.  No way to communicate a message for help.  These things were all taken by police.

Another part of this strange puzzle has dropped in place....

9AM - Thanksgiving pics!
Just a few moments ago I received an email from Doug with a link to the pics that he took yesterday at our Thanksgiving party. And these are swell pics too [link]!

6PM - I want my GPS!
When I flew from the City of León to the City of San Francisco, California on September 28th, I figured to only be in the USA for a week or so.  I was going to California just to be of support for my son Dave during his crisis with the police.  I never even considered that Dave was no longer alive!

That is the reason that my Garmin Nuvi GPS was left behind.  Goes to show me that I should never figure that I know what is going to happen.  Ever!

When I fly back to San Francisco on December 1st, I'll be bringing along my GPS for sure!  Over the past month, I have gotten lost sooooooo many times.  I want no more of being lost!  Paper maps are good, but they do not tell me where I am like a GPS does.

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