Thursday, February 12, 2015

It still hurts

This evening I was watching a movie starring Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez (husband and wife). Jennifer dies in child birth. When Affleck is told that his wife was gone, he goes down on his hands and knees, too weak to stand.

That's what happened to me when the policeman drove up to my son David's home to give me the news that David was found in the Sierra Nevadas. Dead from a gunshot to the head.

It's coming on to five years since that dreadful day. It seems to me like a long time ago. Like another lifetime. It still hurts. I guess that it always will.

I look forward to my own passing because I believe that I will be with David again.

13 comments:

  1. You always write straight from your heart, George. I admire you for that. I'm sorry for the pain while also glad you have hope. Sue

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  2. My heart goes out to all those left with this kind of hurt. It never goes away. Sorry, George.

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  3. Yes, George. Those of us who love you feel with you. I agree with Sue,but, being selfish, want to keep you here. Too bad all movies can't be happy ones! Hugs. Rose

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  4. My biggest fear in life...

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  5. Hard to believe it's been almost five years. I remember it well and my heart broke for you and still does. as said above ... my biggest feat is to lose my son before I die. I don't think it would be possible to bear it. You've done well.

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  6. You experienced the worst loss of all! Unbearable pain, dear friend. And only those who suffered such loss will know how terrible and painful it is.

    My sympathy with you, dear George.

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  7. I can relate and you are correct, there will always be a void and a great sense of loss.

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  8. Bless You Dad, I wish there was a way to heal the pain from David's tragic loss. Please remember that you still have a daughter who loves you.

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    1. Hi Johana,
      It is very good to read that you love me. You and I have had some tough times. We both seem to be doing better now!

      Thank God!

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  9. Five years is a lifetime under these circumstances. I glad you have hope, George, and your daughter's support too.

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  11. George, my son has been gone two years and it hurts just as it did that morning I found him dead on the floor of his bedroom from a bad heart that went undetected. The hurt, the longing the grief and agony never go away. I've talked to clergy, had counseling, joined group session, read books, cried my eyes out night after night, talked endlessly to friends and nothing helps. You just learn how to deal with it a little better, how to accept it so you don't go crazy. Some days are better than others - some days I can barely get thru without breaking down and other days I'm fine - but never good. I completely understand the pain and grief you are going thru and will always deal with. have no other family - I deal with this alone and it's hard.

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