Saturday, October 30, 2010

Hard to accept

Hard to accept
I continue to have up-and-down days.  When I want to feel closer to David, I tune into his blog where I may read his words and see his pics.  It is hard for me to accept that just one year ago, I was here in David's home, and David was here too.  And we all had a wonderful time

This evening I tuned into my son's blog.  His blog is called, "Dave's Home".  I was unprepared for what I was to find there.  Because I had forgotten. My computer had two windows up, one tuned into Dave's Home, and the other page tuned into my own blog.  Both on the same day.

That was September 28, 2009.  David titled that page, "Bon Voyage Dinner with Dad."  Little did I know that this would be the last dinner that we would have together.  God! It is hard for me writing to you about this!  Click [here] and you will go to Dave's page on September 28th where he describes that last dinner. There is a pic on that page that I took myself. There is my son. A happy David smiling at me.

Now click [here] and you will go to my blog the very next day. I wrote in that post that "My heart goes in two directions!"

Oh Lord! I know that I should be getting beyond this place that I am in now. But I miss my David so very much! You would not believe! It is hard for me to accept that David is really, really gone forever.

Not the last time!
It turned out that there would be another time for me to see Dave again. They say, "God moves in mysterious ways." Toward the end of October, 2009, our Mr. Datastorm's transmitter went bad. I decided to drive to California from Mexico to fix that transmitter.

I am so lucky that I made that decision, because that brought me back to Dave for the Halloween season. You know something? I can barely remember being back with Dave then. If it were not for my blog, I would not remember. But my blog is my memory. Click [here] and go back in time with me to October, 2009.  Then click on my tomorrow buttons to move forward thru time.

But a miracle happened after that Halloween time with David.  Mr. Dometic our fridge went bad, and I had to return to get the fridge fixed.  That brought me back to Dave's home one more time.  And that truly would be the last time I saw my son Dave alive

Almost a year later on September 20th, 2010, one day before Dave's birthday, Dave killed himself.