Sunday, June 26, 2011

Terrible mess

Terrible mess!
I am very sorry to tell you that I am in a terrible mess!   I hate writing about this to you, because in the past I have always been such a positive person.  I have written before that everything works itself out.  But that does not seem to be true for me anymore.  There are some storms that cannot be weathered.  And I seem to be going thru a storm that cannot be weathered right now.

Last nite I viewed a movie, "The Rebound".  It is a love story that turns out well.  Just the kind of story that I usually love to watch!  But at the end of this movie when the guy and girl finally get together, the guy reminded me of my son David who never got the girl.  I was devastated by that thought.  I was not able to get to sleep until after 3am!

This morning things got worse.  I was intending to go north along Highway #1, the coast route.  Looking at my DeLorme map I saw that not too far away is Windemere Point near Fort Ross.  That is where I cast out my Mother's ashes after she died.  I knew in my heart that I did not want to go there at this time.  Going there would really depress me!

So you see my dilemma?  I am really messed up.  I know that you will likely advise me to get mental therapy.  But I already got therapy.  And now here I am in my own blog having an emotional breakdown in front of everybody.  What a bummer!

12 Noon - Bodega Bay
I decided to continue north despite heading to my Mom's scattering place. I have to be made of stronger stuff than how I wrote this morning! Anyway, what else am I going to do?